lgbt – Coco, Lime & Love

An Unforgettable Sunset On An Old Runway

A few weeks ago two photographers reached out to us through Instagram, saying they would like to do a shoot with us. Their message was so sweet and their Instagram account so beautiful, that we had a very good feeling about this photo shoot.

We decided to ignore the fact that we feel super awkward in front of cameras. Mimi genuinely hates being photographed, or even worse, being filmed, and I feel just like an idiot having no idea what to do with my face… my hands… and my whole body.

Photo shoot at the aircraft

Less than a week later, they were having doing a wedding shoot in Berlin. We decided to meet during that weekend. We agreed that they should choose the location, and it happened to be at the Tempeflhofer Feld. For all the non-Berliners out there; it is an abandoned airport that is now used as a park where people are free to hang out, run, bike, and grill.

cocolimeandlove-photoshoot

One bottle wine later

We met at the park in the early evening, and started discussing everything while sharing a bottle of wine. It could have been weird because they were total strangers to us, but we really clicked immediately! These adorable ladies were Maria and Linda. They were super easy going and funny, and as the bottle became emptier, we were getting more and more excited for the upcoming photo-shoot.

Go time

The four of us chatted until sunset, and then it came time to forget about being camera-shy. It was also time to ignore all the other park-goers. And then, guess what? Magic happened! We didn’t feel awkward at all and we totally forgot about the bystanders. It was just the two, oh right… four of us in the park. The sky was gorgeous, the city calm, love was in the air, and everything just felt natural.

We did it

Once the session was over, we unfortunately said our goodbyes, but what a fantastic feeling! We put ourselves out there and felt strong and proud about it. What is there to be proud of? We faced our fears and stepped out of our comfort zones.

Maria and Linda

Special thanks to Linda and Maria for this opportunity. Your passion, talent, amazing work, and friendship, felt more than authentic. We are so honoured to have met you, and we couldn’t be happier with how you captured us together in your photographs.

We hope you enjoy the pictures of this special moment as much as we do. You can find all of Maria & Linda’s beautiful work by clicking here.

All Credits to Maria and Linda

The day I proposed to her

Romantic vibes

We were in a magnificent villa near to Ubud, on the island of Bali. Everything was perfect. We’d freshly arrived in Indonesia and had a wonderful sunny day celebrating our two year anniversary. She was laying in our bed with a view of the jungle. Night came, the candles gave our bedroom a beautiful romantic atmosphere and I start to spontaneously massage her back.

In the same time she was reading the letter I wrote her. I knew my hands on her body would distract her. She kept reading and I started to descend slowly, slowly.
I massaged her legs, then her feet, and I suddenly had one knee on the floor.

Down on my knees

The last sentence of my letter was „two years ago I asked you if you want to be my girlfriend, now I have another question, please turn around“.
She turned and saw me, on the floor, a ring in my hand. She instantly started crying and I did just the same. I tell her how much I love her and how sure I am to want her for the rest of my days. I asked her to be my wife. And that was it. We were engaged.

I had to.

A new step in our relationship. And what a step. Even more special for us because we never wanted to marry or have kids. These are the dreams of a lot of women but they had never been ours. And it changed. We changed. I couldn’t wait more than two years to tell her. I knew she was the one and there was, to me, no reason why I should have to wait any longer to tell her.

Want to know more about our trip? Check out our Bali post right there!

The day they shot us.

Same sex marriage : a divided population

France, November 2012. The government is finally determined to allow marriage for homosexuals. The countries population is divided : open minded people versus the others.

A huge organization comes out of nowhere and decides to do anything in their control to stop the law. Their members consider homosexuality as an illness, gay people as perverse. They want to protect children from them. You see them everywhere on the news saying „if we let them marry, what’s next? Marriage with animals?“

The fight between hate and hope

They did demonstrations. A lot of demonstrations. And it wasn’t just an isolated group of people. They were between 100 000 and 200 000 every time. And we had enough. We had to do something. So we met up the same day they did. To just be there and show our existence, our voice. Some friends and I hid our rainbow flags and decided to go on the other side, just to have a quick look, to see who these people insulting us were.

Brainwashing

A bunch of riot police vans separated the two groups, but we made it across small streets. And we suddenly landed in another world. In another time. I held my girlfriend’s hand and kissed her in the front of all of them. They started to yell and pushed us. I will never forget their looks. A man said one of my friends was a witch and deserved to burn. The same friend asked a little girl, too young to read the placards she was holding, if she knows why she’s there. The girl replied „I don’t know, I just do what mummy tells me to do“. We ran away. We crossed the police line again and came back to our world. It was such a relief : colors everywhere, happiness on everyones faces. Hope.

Never give up

Later we ended at a place called „le Capitole“, the symbol of the city. We couldn’t resign ourselves to let them arrive there. We resisted the riot squad, remained peaceful and we tried to negotiate. They charged, threw tear gas bombs, attacked us with baton guns. The whole place was full of smoke, everyone was screaming. It looked like a civil war.

I’ll never forget this day. We just wanted to be treated like human beings. Not like monsters or perverts. Was is too much asked?

All our other LGBTQ posts are right there for you!

The invisible lesbian(s)

You would be surprised to hear how many labels you can find about women attracted to women: androgynous, blue jeans femme, butch, chapstick lesbian, diesel dyke, femme, futch, gold star lesbian, hasbian, kiki, bisexual, lipstick lesbian, power dyke, soft butch, sport dyke, stem, stone butch, stud, and many mores.

Quite overwhelming, isn’t? Even for us. Well it’s not a big deal, we don’t want to fit into any of these categories anyway. But if we had to find a label, we’d maybe define ourselves as „invisible femme“. If it doesn’t sound familiar for you, „femme“ is a term to describe a feminine lesbian.

Femme feelings

We aren’t into labels but lesbi honest : it can be very useful sometimes. But let’s get back to the topic : being an invisible femme. I use the term „invisible“ because of it’s interesting double meaning. To me, it expresses the fact that a „femme“ is in a certain way protected from mean and ignorant people since she’s automatically considered as straight. But on the other hand „femmes“ are also hidden from the LGBTQ community itself, barely identified by their members’s radars.

Between two stools

So if society isn’t judging you instantly for your sexuality, it will later. But you’re gonna need way more self-confidence and courage if you want to seduce this beautiful lady you fancy. She’s staying far away from you, thinking you might be hetero and you’ll have to prove just how wrong she is.

Coming out

One other particularity of being a „femme“ is the Coming Out. You have to do it again, and again, and again. All the time, to everyone. And of course, you also have to bear the reactions. Here are my favorites:

„It’s just a phase“

„You’re pretty… for a lesbian“

„Wanna have a threesome?“

„You just hadn’t met the right guy“

„I could turn you straight“

“You don’t look like a lesbian.”

“You just haven’t been with a real man who knows how to please a lady.”

Some more clichés

Other annoying fact: if you’re attracted to masculine women people might say they were right because “you’re obviously into men”. And if you’re in a relationship with another femme they’ll ask you „but hmm, which one of you is playing the man?“.
Well, between two chopsticks, who plays the fork? You have your answer my dear.

Let’s be clear

Being openly gay is constantly being the centre of the attention. Always having to justify your „choices“. And let’s be clear about it : being attracted to women is not a damn choice! To be honest I sometimes wished I could be straight and have all the advantages of it. Not having to prove anything, just living and loving the way I want to. Not having to hide, to disguise, to pretend. I could hold my girlfriend’s hand in the streets in total freedom. What a release it would be! But no, I am what I am, and I shouldn’t have to apologize about it. I didn’t make any choice, just like a straight person didn’t make the choice to be attracted to the other sex, or like a blond girl didn’t make the choice to have fair hairs.

You can find all our other LGBTQ posts right there!

She doesn’t speak my language

The communication in a mixed nationality couple

Nowadays one of the most famous pieces of relationship advice is: communication is key.

Unsaid words are poison and a true deep conversation will probably ease you and your partner. But, how does it work in a binational couple? Communication belongs to a certain culture, to your language, so is it an issue at some point?

Well, we can’t speak for all, but here is our own experience of it.

First a little rewind. I worked two years as an au-pair in Berlin. Everybody said my German was great but I didn’t consider myself as good enough. I had to talk French at work, and I almost only had French friends in the city. Not the best to learn a foreign language, is it?

But I was determined to always improve my skills. And my wish came true as I met her. The love of my life. This wonderful, amazing, beautiful german girl. And what a better way to learn than through the language of love?

She couldn’t speak a word of french and my english sucked. So the decision was all taken! We started to talk to each other in german. She was patient, and it was never a problem at the beginning of our relationship. It was actually cute. It brought lightness. We always laughed at my mistakes, my accent or the differences of both our cultures.

First fights

Time passed and we had our first disputes. We discovered how difficult the communication sometimes is in every relationship but even more so in our case. Words became barriers. For me, not for her. I was the only one talking a language that was not my native one, the whole time. She was so used to hear me speak german that she almost forgot it wasn’t my mother tongue.

Running in circle

She didn’t understand that my brain was still impeded, missing important vocabulary. Especially in pressing situations like arguments. And with stress, the emotions popping up from all over my body, I struggled more and more to find my words. So I tried to change my words again and again, hoping that my argument would be understood.
She hated that. But every time I explained to her why I was running in a circle like that : she got it. She remembered the fact that I speak in a foreign language every single minute of the day. It may sound easy, I probably look like a fluent speaker, but it is sometimes so freaking exhausting.

The real deal

I often feel like I would go deeper if I could speak in my native language, especially in a fight situation. But what’s most important is not the dispute itself. The big deal is how we react to it, how we handle it. And it always fascinates me, the way we solve our problems, with love and compassion. I think it is an universal solution. It doesn’t matter if you and your partner speak the same language. The heart doesn’t need any translator.

Give her what you need

Be kind and let your heart speak, not your anger. Ask yourself „what do I need right now? What should my partner do to help me, to stop my struggle?“. Do you need this person to hold your hand and say „I’m sorry“? Do you need her to listen? Do you need a cuddle? A kiss? Then just stop to wait and give.

Most of the time both want and need exactly the same : tenderness, calmness, love. And suddenly all the temper is gone. You may even ask yourself why you were fighting to begin with. How did it escalate so fast? You’re not really sure, but it doesn’t matter anymore, you’re just glad to hold her tight. To let the anger go. And you can now communicate more calmly and with empathy. You can share your thoughts and try to avoid the next fight. Or at least to make it easier. I give her advice to understand me better and faster the next time and she does the same.

That’s how we slowly learnt how to deal with the binational aspect of our relationship : with a double amount of communication, patience and respect

I learnt her language, she learnt mine.